The Writing Doctor

So, what's next? What am I waiting for, Who am I waiting for, Is happiness out there? Can I feel it again, Can I feel it when my heart caged still, Is happiness for me? Is it happiness that absent, Or I am the one who unable, To feel it, I was too hardheaded, I believe happiness is just what I define happiness, I don't want nothing else, I want you, I don't want somebody else, I close my eyes, I see you, Your charming smile, Your special body scent, Why can't I get rid of those imaginations, Yesterday I listened to my favorite song, I hear you, She sings about you, What so special about you, You exist in my dreams, Can you return the key? Of my heart, I wanna be happy again, Please.

It was a fun and wild ride, he was everything I ever prayed for a guy. And I was everything to him. I was the god's gift to him. At least that's what he told me and convinced me to believe. I was happy, but he was hot and cold. I was blindfolded by love. I thought pain is a part of love, I tried to convince myself. I was too forgiving. I saw what he did, but I stayed in denial. "Ahh. He loves me. Nothing to worry about". Days after days, I became an option. While my feelings develop deeper and deeper. But I was just an option. How can't I realize it. He told them he can't commit. He told them I could be one of his choices. Wow. Am I dreaming. I can't unhear that. It became a huge scar on my heart right now. I hope there's karma for you. I hope you will fall in love with people who doesn't love you, Who doesn't know how to please you, Who feel disgusted by you, Who hate your smell, Who doesn't laugh at your stupid j...

The disappointment,  A pain in disguise, A blessing in tears, He took away my happiness, I was indeed hurting, Without I realizing, Happiness are felt when I put my mind into it, Happiness is optional, Happiness is just a state of mind, I believe all the pains are meant for my growth, And if I don't learn from it, Then I'm not a human enough for not carry my responsibility, I'll keep running, Looking for my eternal peace, I know it is somewhere, In a place that I yet not discover, How much pain is the worst, How much is too much,  How many blessings that I forgot to count, Am I broken enough to complain, Is whining a sin? If I whine who gonna listen, If He listens does my path change? If my path changed am I become happier? If I'm happier won't I complaint? If I never complaint anymore do my life complete? Still looking, I don't know the answer, Life is mystery, Pain in disguise.