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Kenapa Saya Resign Hospital Kerajaan? Part 1

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Hi Assalamualaikum, nampak tajuk Clickbait tu! Haha. So, sesiapa yang kenal Farrah tau yang Farrah dah quit government since January 2023, after bekerja lebih kurang 3 tahun di Hospital kerajaan. Post ni bukan lah untuk menghentam mana-mana pihak, cuma lebih kepada pengalaman peribadi sahaja. Jika ada di antara anda yang ada hasrat nak berhenti kerja kerajaan, sila kan lah baca blog Farrah ni ya.  So untuk permulaan Farrah nak cerita overall macam mana sebenarnya realiti kerja sebagai doktor (kontrak) di Hospital kerajaan. So selepas Farrah tamat belajar di Volgograd, Russia pada Februari 2019 dulu, Farrah tunggu lebih kurang 8 bulan juga la sebelum dapat tawaran E-Ho. Sementara menganggur tu Farrah cuba buat kerja sambilan dulu untuk tampung duit makan, ada a few kerja yang Farrah buat yang mostly retail job, butik and kiosk. Boleh la dapat gaji RM1500-1800 sebulan.  So masa houseman dulu Farrah dapat penempatan di Hospital Am*ang, Selangor. Start houseman pada November 2019. To be ho
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3 TAHUN TELAH BERLALU

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 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.  Rasanya sudah lama betul tak menulis hati ke hati di blog ni.  Pelbagai pengalaman pahit dan manis yang dilakarkan sejak Farrah tamat study di Russia pada Februari 2019. Terlalu banyak yang terpendam dan tak terluah pada orang lain. Bermula dengan episod patah hati yang menyakitkan pada tahun 2019. Mungkin pada waktu itu diri ini terlalu naif dengan dunia dan terlalu mudah mempercayai kata manis orang. Tak terhingga sakitnya apabila harapan itu disia2 kan bagaikan hati kita ni tak bernilai langsung.  Paling mengecewakan adalah masa dan usaha yang telah dirugikan oleh insan yang tak berhati perut. Namun tidak mengapa kerana Farrah telah bangkit dari kekecewaan itu dan berjaya membuka hati kembali untuk menerima insan lain, dan Alhamdulillah insan istimewa itu telah pun menjadi suami Farrah hampir satu tahun. And I have never been so happy and in love than I am right now. :)  Dalam masa yang sama Farrah juga Alhamdulillah berjaya menamatkan housemanship Farrah
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Don't Have To Hide

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Pernahkah anda merasa diri begitu kerdil, Tidak mampu bersaing dengan insan lain yang lebih gah, Pernahkah anda berasa malu menjadi diri sendiri, Bersembunyi di sebalik tembok besar, Enggan menunjukkan dirimu yang sebenar kepada dunia, Kerana takut akan dihukum oleh orang lain. Pernahkah kamu mahukan sesuatu, Tetapi terpaksa mendiamkan kehendakmu, Kerana keyakinanmu terhadap diri sendiri tidak utuh. Seringkali berasa kerdil tatkala berdiri di samping yang lain, Berasa dunia ini janggal buat dirimu.  Ketahuilah, setiap cela yang ada pada dirimu, Bukanlah untuk melemahkan mu, Malah menjadi satu keistimewaan buatmu, Mengapa perlu bersembunyi lagi, Keluarlah dan serlahkan dirimu yang sebenar. You don't have to hide no more. Listen to my husband's song Don't Have to Hide  Produced by my husband Redromusic, sang by a Filipino singer, Teloupe and written by Ellysia.  Don't Have To Hide, Redro Feat Teloupe
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Changes inevitable

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  Funny how certain event changes you 360. From someone so bubbly, so innocent, so calm To someone full of anger, hatred and full of negative thoughts.  The broken trust eats your mind so badly you just don't know how to turn back time Or maybe this is the real you. Perhaps all those emotions couldn't be contained anymore Perhaps those bottles are exploded And you're damned to open another bottle.
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Dear, Daddy!

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Dear, daddy! I still remember your voice, Your laugh when you cracked a joke, Sorry I rolled my eyes though, I remember how hard you tried to talk to me, All I answered was silence, My ego was all over the place, You broke my mom's heart, I couldn't really forgive you, Yes, I am that kind of girl, Who remember all things, everything, You did when I was 10, 20, But we were always connected, Through soul, telepathic, The way I couldn't really put my finger on, I always feel you even though we were always separated, I knew you suffered, I knew you tried to fix everything, I'm sorry it was too late, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to see you for the last time, How I wished I could hug and kiss you, Until this very day, You are always on my mind, I wish you peace and heaven, I know those two place are where you belong.
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I Breathe In New Air

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I breathe in new air, Walking through this new place, Leaving the warm air of yesterday, Everything feels brand new, Is this rebirth? I don't even dead, But I'm no longer the old, Getting older but I'm new, Maybe wiser, But too shy to admit, I am reborn, With two hands carrying me, The hands full of love, Lifting me up, Hold me tight, Never leave me behind.
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Please Return My Key

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So, what's next? What am I waiting for, Who am I waiting for, Is happiness out there? Can I feel it again, Can I feel it when my heart caged still, Is happiness for me? Is it happiness that absent, Or I am the one who unable, To feel it, I was too hardheaded, I believe happiness is just what I define happiness, I don't want nothing else, I want you, I don't want somebody else, I close my eyes, I see you, Your charming smile, Your special body scent, Why can't I get rid of those imaginations, Yesterday I listened to my favorite song, I hear you, She sings about you, What so special about you, You exist in my dreams, Can you return the key? Of my heart, I wanna be happy again, Please.
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